When you rush, You forget things.

Good evening! 5.15 p.m. here in the land of the rising sun! but the sun dsnt seem to be arise a lot of the day.. by arund 4 o'clock it starts going down to go back into hiding so that the moon can come out and play. With the sun going down earlier, that means that winter is on it's way! I can and can't wait for winter! Why? do u ask, easy! because I've never even been through winter so I'm extremely excited to do winter sports and see snow! but on the other hand.. I've NEVER been through winter and as it is I'm already dying with how cold the temperature is getting but somehow managing. Just hope I'll be alright to last until spring. Need to go winter clothes shopping before I die of frost bite x) haha.

So anyway enough about the weather. Today had a crazy start to the day. I woke up not so late but I took my own sweet time in getting ready so I left the house around 8.50 a.m. when my class starts at 9.00 a.m.. I sprinted on my bicycle, didn't even think about how tired I was and somehow got there in time so as to not be considered late. I was still considered on time! But then because I was rushing so much I accidentally left my glasses at home! I went to school without being able to see clearly. It was a miracle I got to class in one piece haha. Considering everything I looked at was blurred out buy my horrible vision. After class, I was supposed to go straight to my ND campus to do a few things but since I left my glasses at home, I pondered for a little while of what I shld do. Go home and get the glasses? or not. Asked a few ppl, they told me to go get it so I did and had lunch. After doing that, I still had enough time to get what I needed from the foreign students office aswell as make it in time for class. So it didn't turn out so bad. Although it didn't turn out bad. I did come out of it extremely tired. So happy to be home right now. Just wondering.. Should I go take a nap?

bye bye.

Autumn!

This morning I left the house early for once. Haven't done that in a long time, and on the way while on my bicycle i took this picture! I just looovee the red of the maple leaves! I get excited everytime i pass by them. Not to mention, the shape of the branches are pretty too. Just like in a painting. Haha. At times like these are when I really feel that I am in Japan living out my dream! Sometimes it's just so hard to believe~ I'm so thankful I got this far. Now time to get my head in the game and aim for good results for my upcoming exams! =)

This Sem

Hey there, been awhile huh? It seems that lately I barely write here anymore. Okay it's been going on a lot longer than just lately but I am making an effort to try and remember my blog more. I actually downloaded the blogger application for my iphone. So hopefully from now on I shall take more pictures and upload them here and actually blog more. Although, most of the time I'm just all talk, I really do hope I actually make the effort this time. Haha.

Well to fill ya'll in with my current events, my university life started about 3 weeks ago. This term my classes end earlier but my schedule is more packed compared to my last semester. Last sem I had more breaks, which was why my classes ended later but this time I have classes one after another, which allows it to end faster but a little more hectic for me. That's alright though. Then, there is the fact that most days I have classes on the first period which is 9am, which is a total change from last sem where almost all my classes started at 11, so this sem I'm having some trouble getting up in the morning as well as staying up in class when I'm there. I think since I've gone back to uni these past few weeks I've been mostly asleep in my classes. I don't mean to fall asleep, sometimes when I listen to my teachers talking, even when I DON'T feel sleepy I have a tendency to fall asleep. It's like their voices are my lullaby or something. lol. Well this sem I can't be playing around so much. So many reports to write and they count for a big percentage of the subject. If I don't do this right, I'll fail about half my subjects. So gotta give it my best! Wish me luck! Shall fill ya'll in more later. Ciao!

It's tearing up my heart.

It hasn't been any easier. With or without him. It's hard.

CHORUS
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
And when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do I feel the pain
With or without you

Hey

Baby, I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Tryin' too much, but baby we can win
Let it go, if you want me girl let me know
I am down, on my knees
I can't take it anymore

CHORUS

hooooooh, all right

Baby don't misunderstand,
(don't misunderstand)
What I'm trying to tell ya
In the corner of my mind, (corner of my mind)
Baby it feels like we're running out of time
Let it go (go) if you want me girl let me know
I am down on my knees, I can't take it anymore ohhhhh..

CHORUS

Tearin' up my heart when i.m with you, but when we're apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do I'll feel the pain with or without you

Tearin' up my heart and soul when we're apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do I'll feel the pain with or without you

CHORUS 2x

And no matter what I do I feel the pain with or with out you

the only thing is.. I KNOW why we can't be together. I believe it's for the best.
I will always love you though.... Always.

time is of the essence.

& so everyone told me to deal with it as soon as possible, before anyone got hurt.
took too much time and now there has been a casualty. I know what I want to do. Have already decided on that one. I'm simply taking too long to do it. I don't know when's the right time but somehow in these types of matters, there's never going to be a right time. I really need to get this over with before I lose the one thing that I'm trying to hold on to right now.

Sorry for everything.

Quicksand

Feels like I've screwed everything up. Feels like I've lost the people who should matter the most. I know they're there. They haven't gone anywhere, just how it feels like.

For him who has my heart..

I can't be the same person I was with you. I don't know how long I can leave my heart in ur care & how long I can be taking care of yours. It all feels so messed up. So complicated. How I wish I could just go back to the days where nothing mattered but us but I need to figure things out and go my own way, if we are meant to be, I will return. Although, If we aren't and I return anyway, you might not be there for me when i get back.. If that happens I shall keep u in my heart and keep moving on. Right now I'm still trying. I don't know where my heart lies. I need time. Just give me time.

For him who has given me his heart..

I am not who you think I am and I can't give u my heart even though I know you are waiting for me. I know you will come back to me. I am waiting for you but I won't be yours. I can't. I shall give you all the time you need. I will wait here.

I make no sense but I really do wish I was somehow sinking in quicksand right now.

Syazam! x)

Being in a different country all alone, you really learn to appreciate the things and the people you had around you.

Before I came here I didn't spend enough time with you. I know we were both busy with our own things but maybe I should have prioritized you more. I miss the days we spent shopping. I miss us talking about japanese dramas. I miss you screaming at other people while driving. I miss being sarcastic with you and also the way you tried to be sarcastic with me but failed. I miss our sleepovers. I miss our long phone calls. I miss our talks in the middle of the night before falling asleep hours later. I miss everything about you. Even your short attention span and the way you get annoyed with everyone for no reason. haha. I love you sya! Wish you were here with me.

Sands of time.

Yesterday, read back a few of my older posts while someone else was reading my blog. Figured out I was a freak until not too long ago or maybe I still am? Just not as obvious as it was last time haha.

It's funny how when u look back on things like your blog posts, pictures, comments and etc you wonder "did i really write this?" or "did I really do that?". It's like you don't recognize yourself and you find that what u've said or done during that time is something u would never think yourself of doing or saying as the person you are now. & somehow u find whatever happened in the past so embarrassing.

Just proof that people change over time I guess.

Does that mean I've changed?

I guess I have.

I'm not the same person I was when I graduated high school or wtv. People change and adapt into the situation they're dealt. None of us notices but as time goes by, when we enter a new environment, meet new people, slowly we change, and grow. It only makes us human.

So all I have to say to all those weird posts and pictures etc, is that I am only human. Instead of being embarrassed, acceptance is key. They are who I was and a part of who I am now. =)

I Need a Hug.

It's been awhile since I wrote here. Feel like I should let my feelings out more often here so that at least I have an outlet but somehow I never end up writing down how I feel. Anyway, right now I really need a hug. I don't mean I simply hug someone. I mean I need to hug and be hugged. I need to feel like I'm not alone. Although, sadly here, I don't have anyone I can hug. Which makes it more obvious as to how lonely I really feel. This feeling is the type of feeling that won't just go away. It's the feeling that'll linger until I finally let it out somehow and for me to let it out, I need a hug from someone I feel close enough to open myself so much as to hug that person. You know the typeof hug where u feel safe. I don't know what I'm gonna do but there's not much I can do. Miss my friends at home. The people who were always there when I needed a hug. I'll get through this somehow. Don't worry. I'll be okay.

Entrance Ceremony.

Well hello there. It's been awhile, but now I'm no longer where I used to be. I'm now in JAPAN. Yes, JAPAN. The country I've been yearning to come to since i was a wee child at the age of 11. Well I'm currently having university orientation week the whole of this and next week but today was my entrance ceremony. As most likely not most of you guys know, I shall be attending a catholic university. No, I do not have to be catholic to enter because DUH I'm muslim but the entrance ceremony was so catholic it was funny! hahaha. Well maybe some of you might not think so but hey, I'm not admitting I'm one of them. I was just doing what I was told to do for the ceremony. Well during the ceremony the choir was singing obviously catholic songs and I was just singing along. The songs are well about how great god is and whatsoever which is true in any religion. So anyway then we had the heads of the school make their speeches and one of them was a sister, as in a nun. It was quite cool to see one in real life. Then halfway throughout the ceremony they were having this part where they wanted to pray for all of us and also make us pray & promise to be good. You know like take an oath. They decorated the stage with all these catholic things like big candles and stuff like that and that big bell that the pope will carry when he carries out his prayers, and also at the top of the stage there was a cross. The cross isn't a big deal. The big deal is that there was a statue of jesus being crucified on that dang cross. Now THAT was a big deal. Haha. That was unnecessary in my opinion but hey, If you had seen the stage as I had I bet you'd be thinking what I did. Which was "woooow, how awesome is that" ahaha. Well they did their prayers and stuff. I had to say "amen" which is still the same as "amin" just different spelling haha. Then after singing a couple more songs and hearing a few more prayers from the teachers the ceremony ended. We sang ava maria or something like that. It's actually quite an interesting song haha. Well I do agree in some of the things they had to say. Actually with quite a lot of them because it's all a question of morals. That's all. It's the same in any religion. So anyway it was an interesting ceremony. I was very intrigued with all that was happening. Well after the ceremony we went to have a lunch break somewhat and at 12.30 we attended our orientation. They were talking about the school and everything, the rules and stuff which was owh so draggy. They were going page by page in the dang guide book. That's not cool but halfway throughout this long and boring process, the microphone they were using in the hall caught a radio frequency because they were most likely the same frequency and all of a sudden there was this "konnichiwa" that came out of nowhere and this lady calling a famous person onto stage and the teacher was all joking around about it and so the whole hall was laughing after such a long period of silence. It was dang funny! Best part of the whole orientation, no doubt! After all that when the whole thing finally ended. I was so tired it was so not funny. I was having one of those lack of sugar crisis where I was about to faint and shit but thank goodness I had food in my bag so then I just sat down and ate and rested awhile b4 i began searching for my bus back to my dorm. Well now I noe what bus to take from my place to school so I'm happy! hahaha. Well all in all it wasn't a bad day. Just slightly draggy but okay la. Owh I like my new friend. Her name is Ueno Arisa. She's very nice. I shall tell you guys more about her later. Well that was pretty much my day. Right now I'm just sitting in my room chatting and skipping ppl. I miss all my friends. So so very much! Thanks for reading my rants.

Here's one line that I like from today which is true and what ppl always SAY but never DO.

Treat others as they would onto you. =)

Which means treat other ppl the way you would want them to treat you =)